Let’s not beat around the bush. Some aspects of mothering/parenting are just plain hard/annoying/difficult/sucky/shitty …
Like it needs to be said [cue rolling of eyes]
Tantrums in public places. Sick kids. Your kid being bullied. Not being able to settle them. Sleepless nights. You know it all. Why am I telling you?
(That was a rhetorical question)
I’ve discovered another really, really hard thing.
You know those moments, those of you who have kids with any form of “special need” will get this, when you’re told “your child may be autistic” or “your child has blah” etc? And you go into “that can’t be right” and the “it’s my fault” …
This is like that. But kinda worse. Because it’s not a thing you can diagnose.
Yep. I came to the realisation earlier this week, that my son is, quite simply, manipulative.
I don’t like that word. It conjurs up, for me, all kinds of evil. It’s not nice.
He’s been trying it on us. We don’t “do” being manipulated by him. Well, at lesat not at big levels. I’m sure we’re being manipulated to some degree. Aren’t we all.
Nope, he tried it on his teacher. The thing that he tries on us and we reply with “nope, not having that discussion” and various forms of the sametheme. Not. Entering. That. Discussion.
His teacher got sucked right in.
I was furious. At first, I didn’t know whom I was most furious with. Him for doing it and knowing he was manipulating her? Her for being sucked into it and buying into the discussion?
Or me? For letting him get to this point.
Sad. Very very sad.
Once I got over the intense anger I was feeling, and prevented myself from writing to the principal about the sheer incompetance of the teacher and after threatening to pull him out of school, only to be homeschooled by me and if he thought his life was shit now, wait till he’d been “schooled” by me for a week and he might have a better clue about just how shitty and horrible things could get (I was pretty upset), I gave the situation some more thought.
I was willing to give the teacher some benefit of the doubt; although still really cross with the way she handled things, and her telling me how I was feeling (grrrrr). A quick discussion with the principal confirmed that, yes, most people who don’t know him that well would have done exactly the same. It took me some time to accept that, perhaps, his manipulative behaviours aren’t quite so transparent as they are to us. Cos they’re pretty bloody obvious.
I advised the school on how to handle the matter should it happen again. After being threatened with spending more time with me, I’m doubtful it will happen again any time soon, but you never know.
The hard thing was, though, having to admit it. Accept it. Just say “He is a manipulative little shit!”
Because he is, at times