Of course, it all started with a friend sending me a photo of her son, smiling beautifully and holding up a picture he’d done … and all I notice is the Thomas the Tank Engine shirt he is wearing, even though it’s mostly obscured by the picture and is seriously out of focus.
I contemplate the excitement that is my life, before sending off an email to a business colleague that conained, inexplicably, the word “vaginatory”. I don’t know what this word is, and feel I may have inadvertantly invented it. I think I may have to give it a definition and use it more often.
Deciding this, and the fact that I had a scheduled website downage, I felt it best to leave the office for the interim. Sadly, this resulted in my being sucked into the Enforced Complete Lego Rebuild that kicked off two days ago, whereby Grumpy decided he’d had enough of the Lego being in bits and it had to be put back together, all of it, no alterations, RIGHT NOW!
Given the overall levels of animosity then, I knew I was in for a good time and wondered if 11.27am was too early to declare it Wine O’Clock.
I do find a Lego build, or rebuild as the case may be, rather therapeutic and was looking forward to the challenge. Until I discovered there was a dress code for the task at hand.
The dining room table is also covered in bits, partial rebuilds and leftover toast crusts that we are to extract relevant pieces from and construct all manner of vehicle. To the letter of course.
We even have a separate casualty ward set up for victims of the Great Lego Destruction of various children’s birthday parties, guests over for dinner and various other social gathering throughout 2011 …
They weren’t as traumatised as I anticipated, and nowhere near as traumatised as I was ten minutes into the adventure, as Grumpy has, for some unfathomable reason, a desire for two people to work on one Lego construction.
This. Does. Not. Work.
Especially when I find losing myself in a creation good for my mental health. Having someone go “what piece are you looking for?” and “here, put this bit there” and “no, that’s no the bit you need, this is” and “oh, wait, no its not, you’re doing it all wrong!” and Monkey Boy buggering off to do his own thing / escape, which is causing Grumpy to have a conniption because “he should be here doing it!” and yelling a lot and being, well, grumpy.
Also, some bits are already partially constructed and you spend hours trying to find a teensy piece, only to discover it half an hour later attached to the bit you need right after you attach that teensy bit you’ve spent ages looking for. Some bits are also partially reconstructed in the wrong configuration. Which only leaves you thinking that the schmozzle of pieces actually goes on a construction you’re not working on right now, and rather annoyed when you discover it a