The Love Child of Gordon Ramsay

Curriculum day at school (What? Again? Already? They only just went back!!!)

Thus, Monkey Boy was required to attend out obstetrics appointment this morning. Not a big deal, as he is quite fascinated by the whole thing. We turned up at our scheduled time and were, not suprisingly, 53 minutes early.

Monkey Boy was anticipating the works, scans etc – although hoping he wasn’t anticipating the internal exam – and was mildly disappointed that it was a blood pressure and fundus check, and location of the foetal heartbeat, which we listened to, then got some weird feedback on and rather than a ‘thump thump thump’ noise we got ‘thump beep thump beep thump beep’.

Obstetrician advised everything was normal, normal, normal, then had a bit of a feel (external) to determine position of the bub, only to advise its in some sort of transverse position – but not a normal one.

Booked in for my caesarean section and went through a whole range of emotions, mostly relating to what others will think of me and the comments I know I’ll get. Then couldn’t work out what to put in the diary for the “surgery” and settled on Bub-ectomy.

Ob pleased at c-section scheduling and no longer need worry about abnormal tansverse position. Instead will just stick his hand in, feel about and sort it out on the day. Fabulous – can tick that one off the list.

Walking back to the car, I asked Monkey Boy if he was excited about the appointment and was he excited about hearing the baby’s heart beat.

“I didn’t hear it.”

What? “Yeah, it was when the Ob put that thing on my tummy and we heard that ‘thump thump thump’ noise. That was Chippie’s heart beat.”

“Oh, I see. Yeah I did hear it. But what was that ‘beep’ noise then?”

“I dunno. Think we must have got some feedback on the doppler or something. But wasn’t it exciting?”

“Yeah. But I don’t think it was feedback. I think it was Gordon Ramsay!”

Great. Just what I need. Another one of those.

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