I’ve lost count of the myriad fails I have performed since I became a parent.
To be honest, many of them now barely, if ever, enter my mind. I merely go along my merry way, barely flickering an eyelid at the misdemeanours I leave in my wake.
It is indeed from these minor misdemeanours to various indiscretions to outright acts of Bad Mothering that I have fumbled and stumbled my way through the last (almost) seventeen years.
Actually, I got off on the wrong foot entirely, not having allowed my children to squeeze their may out my vagina on their lonesome, but chose, instead, not to have them, you know,