The New Hat

Arrived at school to collect Godzilla.

He was wearing a new hat. An Essendon Bombers cap to be precise. Because, despite our family being terribly un-Melbourneish and not ‘barracking’ for any team, he likes the Bombers.

I still don’t know where this hat came from.

Grumpy Pants asked.

“Where did you get that hat?”

“I won it,” Godzilla replies.

And that was the end of that. Except, I have to know everything, so I commenced the questioning process.

“Cool hat. Where did you get it?” I enquire.

“I won it,” he repeats.

“What for?” I ask.

“I dunno.”

Which is pretty much as I expected.

“So, did you maybe do something at school today that resulted in you winning a hat?”

“I dunno. A fell off the monkey bars today.”

“Right. So … anything else, anything that you might have won something for?”

“I dunno.”

“Ok. Um … so, how was school today?”

“I dunno,” is his now anticipated response. He often replies like this, and I often wonder if he was actually there, give he often ‘doesn’t know’ what he did at school that day.

I’m told this is common. It is still no less annoying.

“We did reading,” he tells me. They do this every day.

“And we did cross country today,” he continues.

Ah ha! We may be onto something.

“So, did you win the hat for cross country, maybe?”

“I dunno,” he replies.

ARGH! I think to myself.

“C came first. I just came third.”

“You came third in cross country?”


“Did you win the hat for coming third?”

“I dunno.”

“Also, do you think coming third in the cross country is pretty awesome? I think that’s pretty awesome. Like, really well done,” I tell him.

“I dunno. I think I came third because I didn’t stop to get a drink. I don’t know why I got the hat. Are we going home now?”

My head hurts.

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