Clearly having last night’s discussion on his mind, Monkey Boy approached me again this evening.
Feeling quite chuffed that he felt comfortable enough to discuss sex with his mother, I arranged myself in an approachable manner, smiled amenable and said “Yes, sweetie, what would you like to know?”
“Mum? Do men really stick their penises up lady’s vagina’s?”
“Yes, they do.”
Deep breath, regain composure, I’d rather he hear it from me than, say … well, his dad for a start. And some of those kids at school. And the old couple next door. Or the teenage boys a few doors up ….
“Like, and does all that stuff that happens before sex really happen? Like, you know? All the kissing and cuddling and stuff?”
Hmmm, ok must restrain myself here. Not get into the whole “foreplay” discussion, or lack thereof, and the exact location of the clitoris. Plenty of time for that down the track. And he can bloody well figure it out for himself.
“Yup. It’s preferable that it does, yes. So, um, yes, it does happen.”
“Right. So, um, the man really sticks his penis in the lady’s vagina.”
“Yup, quite common really. Happens a bit. Yes, it really happens.”
“Well.” sigh “Girls have germs. They have more germs than boys have! They’ll get their germs all over the man’s penis!”
Ah, finally! We have reached the next stage in the Developmental Life Cycle of the Boy. The Girls Have Germs