This day, two years ago

Ah, the first day of Spring.

And I am awoken, not by a screaming toddler at 2.13am and 4.27am, but by an accidental bed wet by middle child at 6.00am.

I am, once again, reminded of my concerns re swapping at birth, as he skips around the house singing. He’s been doing that a lot lately. It’s really annoying.

At 6am two years ago, I was sitting in the maternity ward at the Freemasons, being asked a bazillion times if I’m alergic to anything and being preped for surgery to remove the rapidly expanding growth from my abdomen that turned out to be an 8 pound 3 screaming baby boy.

Seems I’m not allowed to get any sleep today. Godzilla persists in skipping around the house, singing, Monkey Boy wanders in for a cuddle and starts hassling me about Chippie’s birthday presents and wanting to wake him up so he can open them. After the insanely massive amounts of screaming he partook in yesterday, I’m quite happy for him to stay in bed as long as possible. Although, given he’d slept past both 2.13 and 4.27am, I was becoming increasingly concerned.

Made my way out of bed, stumbled to the kitchen, managed to aim coffee from pot into MUG (impressive!) and field questions that I really don’t want to be asked at the best of times, let alone when I’ve had my sleep broken and haven’t had coffee yet, along lines of:

“Mum? How do people get bum cracks?”

I then found Godzilla in Chippie’s room, singing and dancing, lights blazing. Apparently he “wanted to get up and open his presents”. Instead, I find Chippie still in prone position, squinting up and looking like he wished everyone would just piss off and leave him alone.

Godzilla then informs me he is “presenting” assembly this morning, and is unable to clarify what this means.

“What do you mean you’re “presenting”?” I ask.

“Awww. We’re singing the piranah song.”

What fucking piranah song????????

“Right,” I murmur, in an attempt to clarify. “So, when you say you’re “presenting” does that mean you are standing up the front with the microwave, or you’re just singing this song?”

“Mu-um! I’ts a microphone, not a microwave!”

Yes, and I’m really bloody tired and would be slightly more coherent if people let me sleep and spoke to me in sentences I could understand.

“We had to colour the piranahs in red and purple fins.”

Goodo then. Might take the morning off and wander up to assembly and it had better be bloody good or I’ll be even more pissed off.

Was super impressed at Godzilla who did, in fact, “present” assembly, entirely on his own, with no help from anyone. Effectively, he MC’d it!

Well there you go.

AND I was there to not only witness it, but I also took the camera, capturing those moments where, as one does when they are seven and MCing, he was holding his doodle to help himself stay on track and deliver the next announcement with poise and coherence.

He was also presented with an award for acheiving his learning goals; counting by 2’s, where he announced he could accurately and successfully count by two’s up to “6 million”. His teacher varified it.

Why, oh why can he not find his shoes every morning?

Chippie at childcare where they are baking him a cake and singing happy birthday to him. I may wonder up for that moment, also.

I must, however, whip up some kind of cakey thing of my own. Can’t have a birthday in my house without having cake and everyone going “Awww, do we have to sing happy birthday now?! The Simpsons are on. Can we do it in the next ad?”

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