The school holidays are nearly over, and for some of us this also means becoming a School Mum. A new beginning in your life. And time to meet the Mummy Mafia at schools. Don’t be thinking you can get away with wearing your jarmies to drop your kids off.
Unless of course its for payback – then go for it.
This applies to pre-school, primary school and high school Mums. None of you are safe. Fortunately, we can help you prepare with …
Top Image Tips for Real Mums
Tip 1: No matter how late you are, never drive the kids to school in your pyjamas. It will be the day that your car breaks down and you have to call for help.
Tip 2: Invest in a pair of very dark sunglasses. Not only will they look really cool, but they’ll hide the bags under your eyes after being up with Junior all night.
Tip 3: Jewellery can really lift an outfit, so make sure that you don’t wear a brooch on a short dress. You don’t want your bottom hanging out when Junior decides that the brooch is really tasty.
Tip 4: The layered look is in for jewellery. Wear multiple necklaces of different lengths in co-ordinating colours. They will be fashionable, but also useful for entertaining Junior if you have to wait somewhere. The strong ones can even help support your child when your 3rd set of hands is otherwise occupied.
Tip 5: Front opening shirts are excellent when you are still breastfeeding. A great image tip is to replace all buttons with velcro. It is far easier to do your shirt up with just the flick of a hand than it is to do up buttons while balancing a baby. And you don’t get the buttons in the wrong holes.
Tip 6: Your fruit bowl is full of wonderful items that will treat your skin. Try a strawberry face mask, made of a handful of strawberries mashed together with a couple of tablespoons of honey. Not only will it be great as a face mask, your children will love it. If your baby or toddler decides to chew on you, then you’ll taste great, and your older children will love the Halloween dress up. Just remember to wash the mask off after a few minutes if the kids will let you.
Tip 7: Cheap tip: mix 1 tablespoon each of olive oil and sugar to make an exfoliating mix for your hands. They’ll be soft and smooth – just perfect for changing that nappy and making school lunches.
Tip 8: Finger paint through your hair does not qualify as “tips”. For a decent colour, go to the hairdresser.
Tip 9: Night creams are great. Use it on your face, feet, hands, elbows and neck while you sleep. Let’s face it – this is the only time you get to yourself. Even your husband will leave you alone now – one look and he’ll back off (and even if he goes for the grab you will probably slip out of his grasp anyway).
Tip 10: Don’t forget the tea bags. Great for making a cuppa, but also great when dampened and placed on your eyes. They reduce puffiness and make you look nearly human.
Tip 11: Experts suggest that you turn your daily housework activities into your exercise routine. Do squats as you pick the toys up from the floor? Do your stretches as you hand out the washing? Personally, I subscribe to the theory that you can gain as much benefit from thinking about exercise as you can from doing it. Your thought processes are enhanced greatly with a Tim Tam and a chardonnay in hand. Then you’ll be past caring about how you look anyway.
Tip 12: Make-up is a vital part of the perfect image. If you have teenage daughters, keep in the drawer with your undies. No self-respecting teenager is going to want to see your knickers, so your lipsticks will be safe.
Tip 13: Make-up has a use-by-date, even if it is not printed on the item itself. If your lipstick or eye shadow is no longer available in that colour or packaging, then the chances are that it is time to trhow it away. It is called “Forcible Updating for Consumers”.
Tip 14. Always wear a decent bra. Make sure that it lifts and supports those gravitationally challenged boobs. Nothing makes you look older and fatter than boobs that hand down to your waist. Just remember – if you can tuck them in then they are in the wrong place. Time for a new bra.
Tip 15: A hot tip from those stunning Indian women – To make sure that your lips have some colour, paint them with beetroot juice every night before bed. Gee, beetroot lips and cream on your face – you’ll look like a mayonnaise salad, but you’ll be HOT!!
Ms Feetup is a qualified (yes, really) Colour and Style Consultant. She is also the Mum of three, hates to wear makeup and is, at heart, and anti-shopping expert.