The introduction of the likes of, say, baby whisperers as experts in this crazy, convoluted world of parenting has done little to raise our confidence and trust in our very own intuitions.
In the defence of baby whisperers and such, children, including babies, do have distinct cries and other garbled noises that do mean very different things.
They’re onto something, and not just his fact. No, they’re also onto the vulnerability of our own emotions and our desire to do the best we can for our children. Not ony do we not want them to grow up to be serial killers, we also don’t want to get it ‘wrong’.
The experts and their marketers know this, and in their bid to ‘help’ us, they are also slashing away at our self-esteem and confidence in our very selves.
Whilst they are uttering the “trust your intuition” rhetoric, their actions are hacking away at out abililty to do just this, and, alas, we second guess, we doubt, and we lose that faith in our ability to intuit what is going on.
Of course, there is also life that happens; lack of sleep, stress, the impending festivities of Christmas, and the almost daily reports of the latest research on how you’re fucking your kids up for life by whatever it is you’re doing at today and how wrong that all is … all those things also impact upon our ability to think clearly, and even to trust ourselves.
All kinds of things screw with our own self esteem and confidence. Sometimes they also affect our ability to correctly intuit what is going on.
When our kids cry, sometimes we know what’s going on, and other times we don’t.
What is know is that you can and do possess the ability to know, instinctively, what sort of cry is what.
You won’t know them instantly, and some cries will take a couple of goes before they become familiar. Don’t expect to know the first time, but you will know them.
Even if you doubt yourself, you do know that when your child cries in a certain way they are genuinely hurt.
You’ll know when they are just whiney, and when they are simply wanting your undivided attention.
You’ll learn the difference between the cry of a lost toy, and the cry that is The Wrong Bowl.
You’ll know when they are truly upset, or when they are at the mercy of a twat faced older sibling.
You will begin to understand the cry that is the hungry cry, and that which is the tired cry.
The latter is generally confirmed with the “I’M NOT TIRED!” tantrum right after you utter the very sensible bed time suggestion.
The thing is, you need to let go all those worries about whether you will know the noises straight away, or whether you get them wrong. Because, on occasion you will.
Also, when kids twig that you’re onto them and know which cry is which, they’ll change it up and you’ll need to relearn.
The point is, you