The house we’ve moved into is still lacking in a number of areas.
Important ones. Sure, we got our toilet seat screwed back on, and the shower rose replaced so the kids didn’t have to stand in the shower, trying to wash themselves with one arm permanently raised so the flow ran over their bodies and not directly at the wall from point blank range.
(This was mostly an issue for our
16 year old daughter 11 year old son, who does like a nice, long shower and to do things with his hair.)
There is still nothing done about the antenna for the TV, and we actually have no idea if the plugs will work. We also have no confidence that they will. The heating – or serious lack thereof – has not been considered at all, and our only saving grace is that the oven door, which remains slightly open during cooking, emanates a small amount of heat and we don’t all freeze to death.
The titchy kitchen also helps us to snuggle up and share body heat and being stabbed in the back with a fork. Accidentally, of course.
And a few other minor things …
Grumpy Pants and I sit down, check out whatever relevant “Make shit happen so your tenants don’t go psycho” websites, make a few phone calls, print a few forms and work out what needs to be put on what form, to be sent to whom. It is, essentially, a matter of working out the urgent versus non-urgent (usually relating to level of life threateningness), annoying and which ones we just have to suck up.
That two of the three smoke detectors have been removed, and the remaining one doesn’t work, goes on the “urgent” (and we’ll sue your arse, this is starting to get fucking ridiculous) list, for example.
Monkey Boy wanders in to “help”. To be honest, I’m frustrated, have better things to be doing than working on this, given we’ve sent approximately three emails per week for the last few weeks, AND they have the condition report, some technical bullshit has occurred on my website again, I’m tired and I’m cold. So cold.
“What about the intercom system?” he asks.
(Ah, yes, this amazing system that runs through every room in the house, and connects to the doorbell. We chuckled when we first saw it and, given the system was also in all of the children’s bedrooms, said “Yes, we can buzz them to bring us coffee!” Hurrah!)
I bite my tongue, not