Sometimes, you can perform feats you didn’t know you were capable of.
All for the sake of the
children microwave. And your own sanity.
We’d been out all morning. With a bunch of other mums and kids, where I had the privelege of being The Mum With the Horrible Child.
I’ve not really ever been in this situation before. Being THAT mum. I wasn’t sure how to deal with it.
My only consolation was that I was attuned to the fact that he wasn’t all that well and it was slightly out of character for him. He was also crying at the drop of a hat outside of being horrible.
We arrive home and he does his thing where he points and makes a weird noise. Sometimes it’s a cat’s meow. Sometimes a dinosaur roar. Sometimes that “ugh” noise they make that I really hate.
Today was a Fucking Annoying Noise.
Which I hate more than the “ugh”.
Fluctuating between really bloody annoyed and loving mother, I pick him up so he is nearer the place he is pointing to. I still have no idea what or where he wants to be, exactly, but I sense I’m in the vague area of his goal.
He opens a few cupboards (coffee beans, tea bags and mugs) (coffee plungers x 7) to his great dissatisfaction.
I’m unsure if it’s his disappointment, or his behaviour this morning was an indicator of what was about to come, but his stomach lurched and made a weird noise.
He was over the top of the microwave.
There are times I’m super impressed at how quickly a mind works.
In less than a second I:
- had the “he’s gonna spew all over the microwave” thought
- followed immediatley by “that’s gonna be a really horrible mess to clean up”
- complete with visualisaton of spew down the sides, back and in the basket containing school notes, medicine cups, a broken keyring, the Baker’s Delight bags and my favourite watch that needs new batteries and has for three years now
- during which time I grab him around the waist
- twirl him around and across the kitchen
- and his spew lands in the sink
I also entertained the “ooh, goody, I may