What part of "Stop being an obnoxious little F*&%er" do you not understand?


Says those who go out to real “proper” jobs and get to knock off for the weekend.

We mums say NFFA! aka Not Fucking Friday Already!

The weekend commenced with school pickup, the news that Godzilla has gone up yet another level in reader books. He’s now about 12-18 months ahead of where he should be. As “fabulous” as this sounds – and don’t get me wrong, it is – I get the added benefit of him being able to read things like the signs in the window of adult bookshops and the like, and having to explain what they mean to him. In crowded public places.

We walk home, the kids acting as though this is a great surprise, despite us doing this very thing 3 times a week, and always on a Friday. Monkey Boy starts his obnoxious behaviour, Godzilla joins in and I commence my transformation into Dragon Lady when they do not shut the fuck up and start behaving as requested.

By the time we get home, Monkey Boy is told he is to go to his room and “think about his behaviour” – I tell him that, becuase when you say “Go to your room or I will fucking kill you” the neighbours get all hoity toity and give you filthy looks and start calling DHS and the police. Spoil sports.

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