What you can learn from your friends

Monkey Boy was being a right horror this morning. Rude, misbehaving, not listening.

“If you keep that up, I’m going to ring Santa and tell him not to come this year!”

(Never to early to use the Santa card. And the bloody shops are promoting Christmas now, so why can’t i?)

“Santa’s not real anyway, so I don’t care?”

Having my wits about me, for a change, I raised an eyebrow (or would have if I were able to) and said “we’ll see”

His behaviour improved remarkably, and so commenced his educating me on God, Jesus and the Church. All of which he learnt from school. I know this, because he didn’t learn any of it from us. I deal with everything else, his dad can deal with the church stuff.

Very interesting, his version.

Mostly about how at church you get to play stuff.

Off he went to play, then walked back into our room, where I was lying, fully clothed, across Grumpy’s legs (also fully clothed) having a Very Important Serious Discussion.

“Are you two having sex?”

Right, need to have a chat with his teachers. Or at the very least, the 8 year old Sex Educator of the School Playground.

After we finished stiffling our laughs, we enquired as to what “sex” actually was for him.

“You know” (well, yes actually, I have two children) “its nakedness.”

Uh huh

“And kissing.”

Mmmm, go on…

“And boobies – hehehehehehehe. The Tooth Fairy isn’t real, is it? Its just you?”

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